A modest proposal
April 26, 2010Jon Brooks Comments OffA Flagstaff, Arizona citizen argues that the state’s new anti-immigration law, requiring law enforcement authorities to determine the immigration status of those they suspect are in the country illegally, does not go far enough. From elephantjournal.com:
Is it just me or has Arizona Immigration Law SB 1070 not gone far enough? If the Arizona police are only going to be stopping Hispanic people and asking for their papers, won’t everyone else feel left out? Being a yoga teacher, this kind of thing concerns me.
So, what if we included everyone so that nobody feels excluded? I’ve sketched out a simple system that should make everyone feel good.
First, we’ll have the government give all the “legals” green armbands that they must wear at all times. It will be for their safety and would end pesky inquiries for papers from law enforcement. Police officers can get back to focusing on crime like robberies, rape, murder, and citizens can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that their brown-skinned neighbors are paying their taxes.
Native Americans can get another color, since they sometimes, you know, look like Mexicans. Maybe turquoise blue, since that color is often associated with “Indians.”
Maybe we should go a step farther, and give all citizens with IQs under 110 an orange band. They will not be allowed to carry guns…
And all of us non-brown folks who have an IQ over 110 get a gold sparkly band, so we can do pretty much whatever we want.
Then, anyone who is overweight has to go to work repairing roads or sewers (for free) until they lose weight as payback to society for taking more resources than one person should. We can use the tax money that would have gone toward infrastructure maintenance and put it back into securing our borders. Hey, these armbands may be cheaper than fitting everyone with microchips but they’ll still cost something!
Anyone not wearing a band is subject to “treatment” – you know, the kind Rumsfeld seems to like. And every now and then, specific band colors (such as green) get special jobs, like cleaning up toxic waste dumps – stuff like that. We can just round them up and have them live in barracks…it’ll be nice for them. They can work all day and feel really good about it.
I haven’t worked out the system completely yet, but I’ve heard about someone from the last century who really thought this one out . . .
I mean seriously, some people are advocating for a fascist state…so why not give it to them?
