Tough times
December 16, 2009Jon Brooks 1 Comment »Two posts from the blog They Pay to Kiss Your Feet, written by an unemployed copywriter, deal with a couple of issues very much on the mind of many people this year–jobs and health care–and the interrelationship between them.
First, from March: day 16. the ugh.
today was by far the lowest day i’ve had yet. i mean low. like crying a lot low. not eating low. wanting to start drinking at noon low. and this is what a friend told me. he said i’d be on this emotional roller coaster. where one day, i’d be great (yesterday) and the next, i’d be wondering why i’m even breathing (today.) and the thing is, in the thick of today, i saw no way out. none. i was so utterly depressed that i just didn’t care. and it’s like i’m so envious of anyone who has a job. and how all day, they get to be working. are you hearing me? they GET to be working. okay, see? this is where i’m at. and then how at night, if there is nothing to do but eat leftovers and watch crappy television, it’s okay, because their mind has been so challenged all day, and because they’ve attended so many meetings and have pleased so many people, they can just become a couch vegetable. and it is satifying.
but not me. no. all day i sit. i check email. i check the job boards. over and over and over. i go running. i go to the gym. i eat. i snack. i drink carbonated beverages and talk to my dog. i go on a walk. i call my sister. i call my dad and hope he remembers what we talked about yesterday. i wait. for a big break. or for a phone call. or for someone to say “hey, let’s go do this friday night.” or “i know you’re going through a hard time, here’s what i did for you.” “hey look, i got you a new shirt even though i shouldn’t have.” and see, that’s so silly. because like that would make any sort of difference. i’d still be sitting there. all day. on the couch. looking for jobs that don’t exist. wanting to just finish my new york times best selling memoir. and then retire. it’s just that when i’m going through the depths – absolute depths – of the deep…i just really need something to look forward to.
Then, from October 30: close to home.
maybe you are one of the lucky ones. you’ve never heard of a pre-existing condition. you have affordable health insurance provided by your employer or by your spouse’s employer. you’re not worried that one of you could lose your job and, immediately, your benefits. you never get sick. you don’t remember your doctor’s first name. you’ve never needed an x-ray, to see a specialist or to be on expensive medication.
well, i’m not one of you.
the day i lost my job, i lost my benefits. and because of a pre-existing condition, i had to elect immediate COBRA coverage. this is because, if i, or anyone with a pre-existing condition, ever has a lapse in health insurance, they are blacklisted from most plans. so then, for the rest of their life, they either can’t be covered or they have to pay upwards of $800 a month to sustain coverage.
COBRA was costing me close to $350 a month. but then, the government offered to subsidize it for awhile. so, until january 1, i can continue the health insurance plan i had while i was working at VML for about $110 a month. not bad.
but when the calendar strikes 2010, it goes back up. and that’s more than my car payment. and i have no choice but to pay it. and then, in about 8 more months, i lose COBRA all-together. and god-forbid i still don’t have a full-time, benefits-paying job, i will be forced to buy individual coverage for a huge premium because i need it to cover:
1. physical therapy
and
2. certain medicationsokay. so see? see why all this talk about healthcare is important? because if you thought it was only affecting “other people” you were wrong. and i’m not even close to the worst case.
there are people who are dying because they were afraid to go to the doctor to get something as simple as, “i’ve been feeling tired a lot lately” checked out. and then it was too late. and they are dead. because they can’t get health insurance for reasons as stupid as pre-existing conditions.
i know that nothing the government does will make things perfect. but at the very least, pay attention to what’s happening. talk to people around you about how it is affecting them. your neighbors. the cashier at the grocery store. your nanny.
just educate yourself.
In the silver lining department, this unflinchingly honest blogger did get engaged. A happy post about that here.
January 21st, 2010 at 3:18 pm
[...] visited the blog They Pay to Kiss Your Feet before. Here’s another heartfelt post about being long-term unemployed. 10 [...]