Help Wanted: Nemesis

October 27, 2009Jon Brooks Comments Off

drevil

Seen on Craigslist, San Francisco Bay Area in May, 2008:

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend (inner sunset / UCSF)

I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I’m 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I’m old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I’m willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, “Ahha, we meet again”. That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

Compensation: $350 up front

Thing is, as a nemesis, I’d take that $350 and disappear.

More weird help wanteds here.

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