Overheard in New York: Recession Edition
November 14, 2009Jon Brooks Comments OffLast week we brought you Overheard in the Office. Now, some choice recession-related dialogue fresh from the Big Apple, espied on Overheard in New York.
Guy on phone with mother: No, mom! I’m not going to walk on Wall St today. (pause) Because I don’t feel like getting hit by a falling body, that’s why.
–Broadway & John St
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, “we’re in a recession, let’s go to Dolce.”
–42nd St
Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?–14th & Park Ave South
Screaming child: Mommy, I want to go home!
Disgruntled employee: You think you have problems?! Try graduating from art college in the middle of a recession! Then you can cry!–H&M Store
Guy wearing promotional cardboard, to another: I think I’m going to treat myself to health insurance next month.
–Broadway & 43rd St
Woman: Go panhandle in your own neighborhood!
Young panhandler: I don’t have a neighborhood.–23rd & 8th, Chelsea
Little girl: Can I have a job here?
Clerk: How old are you?
Little girl: Nine.
Clerk: Well, you have to be at least 14 to work at the library.
Little girl: Oh, yeah? Well, you have a big head!–Queens Library
Subway entrepreneur: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption. I am homeless and in need of your assistance. If you cannot give, I will not make you feel bad. I will accept anything you can give. [Continues for five minutes, ignored.] Ain’t nobody gonna give? Y’all just a bunch of cheap-ass motherf****! [Disembarks.]
Sincere child: I thought he said he wouldn’t make us feel bad.
–On the subway
20-something female to friend: If everyone would just pay a dollar, then we would be out of this stupid recession!
Friend: You pay a lot more than a dollar in taxes.
20-something female, frustrated: I know–but if everyone would just pay another dollar on top of it, then we’d be fine.-39th and 5th
Guy on cell: I’m telling you, when a place like that switches from Charmin to Duane Reade toilet paper, you know the economy is in the shitter.
–Great Jones & Broadway
Professor: I knew the economy was bad when I saw Saks had layaway. Layaway is for Wal-Mart, not Saks!
–NYU Law
Suit #1: You took stock market advice from Kevin?!
Suit #2: Yeah. So?
Suit #1: He works at f****** Wendy’s!–42nd & Madison
Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won’t work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers!
–53rd st & 5th Ave
Professor: You should go to Trump Towers and pretend to be a prospective buyer, and tour the rooms.
Student: Will they pay for my lunch?
Professor: No.
Student: How bout a scone?
Professor: We’re in a recession.–NYU Silver Center
Hipster teen: Are you pissing on that building?
Rich teen with faux fur coat: Welcome to the recession, buddy!–42nd St
Little girl in line at ATM: Mommy, I liked your hair better when it was gold.
Mother: Gold hair is expensive, honey. There’s a recession going on. Don’t like mommy’s new recession color?
Little girl: Not really.–106 St & 2nd Ave
Angry union worker: You should join a union — then you wouldn’t be unemployed!
Angry unemployed man: You think your union is so f***** great? Then why don’t you get me a f***** job?!
Angry union worker: Yeah, I’ll get you a job! A job f***** yourself!—Long Island Railroad
Businessman: Yeah, I had to fire like 8 people one Christmas eve.
Businesslady: Oh! Ha, ha, ha, ha.–Liberty & Nassau
