Top-post countdown No. 9: Best of Craigslist
April 27, 2010Jon Brooks Comments Off- 9. Best of Craigslist: Economy version – Craigslist-user nominations of posts that are particularly interesting and humorous also serve as indicators of the rotten economy. (Oct 7, 2009)
Our original post:
Ever check out the Best of Craigslist? These are posts that the site’s users have nominated as particularly interesting and/or humorous. They also can be telling indicators of the horrendous economy.
Dear Future Hipster Neighbor (Portland)
Dear Future late 20/early 30 Hipster Neighbor from the Mid-west/South/Idaho:
I know you are the coolest kid in Iowa/Ohio/Idaho/Texas/Florida/etc but…
While scanning CL for a cool vintage apartment near Hawthorne or Alberta, a sweet barista job and a new fixie to ride around on once you arrive, please reconsider your decision, and please do not move here.
There aren’t any jobs for the people who already live here….
Regards,
Your previous future neighbor
Small space for right roommate (SF Bay Area)
We have a limited time offer for a “nook” in our living room. The nook is currently home to my bike and is 6′ x 3′. It is perfect for someone who needs a little respite between apartments and has a comfy sleeping bag. The nook has wall to wall carpeting and has a window to private patio. Though it’s located in the main living room, you will be assured privacy by the entertainment center and nearby couch. We have limited space in our closet for your things, mostly it’s a room for the water heater, our suitcases, and a baby doll on a stick…
The rent: Negotiable per above standards
Availability: Now through mutually determined date————————————————————————————
Me: wanting to buy cheap sod. You: selling sod but not answering emails – w4m (Minneapolis)
You posted an ad that promised nice sod at a great price. I responded promptly, excited that your offer and my need of cheap sod could coincide so conveniently…Then I checked my email every hour on the hour, anxiously awaiting your response. I never got one! How could that happen? I sent another e-mail and then, just to make sure, I tested both e-mail addresses to make sure they were working. Well, they are! Yet here I sit, still waiting for a response…
What gives?! Do you have cheap sod or not? Are you just using Craigslist to test the waters and see if you’ve “still got it” sod-wise? Are you just some sod-bot and not a real person? Was my need for sod somehow not enough for you? Was it because I’m seeking an NSA (Need Sod ASAP) relationship with a sod purveyor and you’re looking more for an LTR (Lawn Term Relationship)? Now I feel like I’m in the lawncare version of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Do I send yet another email or would that seem “psycho” at this point?…All I want is some freaking grass on my freaking black dirt at a good price.
Well, if I don’t hear from you today I’m moving on. I’ve got needs, and obviously you’re either not serious or you’re picky about who gets a piece of your grass. I didn’t even mention it in my email but if you’d answered you’d have found out I have plenty of bare patches for some lucky sod guy. But I guess someone else will get to lay those.
Woodchuck – Groundhog meat – free (Grand Rapids)
We have a very fat, adult woodchuck/groundhog that has decimated our pole bean crop and consumed, in one 24 hour period, our entire broccoli patch, leaving empty broccoli stems as a stark reminder of what might have been.
The animal has been fed organic garden vegetables all summer to date, so I guess you could say he is “organic”…
We have a live-trap set this evening and considering the bait is watermelon, a woodchuck favorite, I’m sure we will have a woodchuck to give away Sunday morning sometime.
It is illegal to relocate wildlife in Michigan and this woodchuck needs to be dispatched humanely….
Not wanting the animal to be wasted, the proposition is this. If you want the animal for food purposes, you are welcome to take it, but you must be prepared to dispatch the animal and take the carcass with you (you may field dress it if you like)…
Woodchuck recipes can be located here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/05/garden/05woodrecipe.html…
Going out of Life Sale (Western Mass.)
Almost everything must go from my 2 family house, the Bank wants to foreclose on 9/11(i’m serious about the date). 1 black Amana fridge, 1 stove, $75 each. 2 microwaves $50 each. 2 A/C’s $50 each. A few portable heaters at $30 each. 4 star trek models, $20 (collectibles), and spider-man comics from early 90′s (price negotiable from serious collectors). my own artwork(i’m not famous, but my work is bizarre)…
Also will be selling my blood (has been checked for everything and i’m clean), my sperm (i’m also from good stock), my kidneys (barely used), 1 liver (lots of mileage, not the best organ in my body), and my heart which has been broken, but it is still strong enough for someone suitable…and my soul….
Open letter to people selling old TVs (Dallas)
Hey you, yeah you, the guy selling his old tube or projection TV. Can we chat? I want to introduce you to a couple of my friends.
First meet my friend Chuck Obsolescence. He’s the guy who tells me that your stuff is out of date and not worth even 10% of what you paid for it 5 years ago. You probably don’t even have HDMI.
Next, you should get to know one of the best guys, he goes by the nickname “The Economy is in the toilet, so people are selling stuff cheap to just get cash.” He brings a spirit of truth to the party…
Just a quick phone call away is my pal Johnny Walmart. I called him up and he’s selling a brand new 50″ PLASMA TV for $898, and 40″ LCDs for $475. That makes me wonder who’s smoking crack when they’re trying to sell a 10 year old 32″ Sony WEGA TUBE TV for $500 or a massive upright-piano-sized rear-projection set for $600…
Please note that old TVs should be kept in the $50 to $100 range. If they’re not working, NO ONE will pay $200 and then another $400 to try to fix it. I’ll come haul it away for $200 if you want though…
Thanks, I’m glad we had this chat.
Trade gay porn for bookshelf assembly (New York)
Hi Handymen!
I have 2 small bookcases that need to be assembled – this is not my strong point.
but I do have a large collection of gay male porn to pick from.Trade?? 3 movies per bookshelf? 6 FREE PORNS for your time?
bargain!Looking forward to hearing from you…
mr. P
Lost: Self Confidence (Pittsburgh)
Lost: Self confidence. Last seen downtown on 4/24 when company downsized, and at the airport on 5/15 when long-distance girlfriend revealed extra-curricular activity with another before departing. Began search on 4/27 looking in Monroeville, Oakland, and downtown but with no success since no one is hiring. Continued search on 5/29 on Carson street but inevitably had no good response to “what do you do?” If found, please email the above address. Reward available.
Previous top-post entries:
- 25. Colorado Springs: City of the future? – Anti-tax haven Colorado Springs finds itself in desperate fiscal straits, touching off schadenfreude and defensiveness on the Web.
- 24. Sub-prime the Musical – college student creates series of podcasts on the causes of the credit crisis and, naturally, adds song parodies to illustrate the concepts.
- 23. Friday photo gallery Nov 20, 2009
- 22. The Skyscraper Index – This metric shows that the world’s tallest buildings rise on the eve of economic downturns.
- 22. Chances of passing a health care bill – On March 10, Bush administration economist Keith Hennessey upped the chances of health care’s passage from 10% to 40%.
- 22. Friday photo gallery Oct. 30, 2009
- 21. If persons were treated like corporations – Political cartoon from Kevin Moore’s In Contempt site.
- 20. Rappin’ economics – Rap adaptation of the classic econ textbook “Principles of Economics.”
- 19. Friday photo gallery Oct. 9 2009
- 18. Facebook “likes” by city – 210 million Facebook profiles broken down into which pages users click the “like” button on, organized by city.
- 17. Repaired Things – The blog – collection of pictures of things that have been repaired
- 16. Podcast: Local currency bucks the dollar – cash-strapped communities throughout the U.S. make their own money
- 16. Defriending over health care – Did you defriend anyone on Facebook, or were you defriended, in the midst of the furious health care debate?
- 16. Cards of change – altered business cards uploaded by people who have either been laid off or experienced a change in career situation
- 15. Who are the worst tippers? – Waiters comment on which groups of people are the worst tippers, and no one is spared. (Dec 9, 2009)
- 14. 100 Motivational Blog Posts for the Unemployed (Jan 29, 2009) – practical and emotional tips, tools, and resources
- 14. Teabonics – misspellings spotted on Tea Party rally signs (Apr 19, 2010)
- 13. Facebook connections analyzed – interactive Facebook map with lines drawn between geographical areas that share a lot of friends (Feb 22, 1010)
- 13. Friday photo gallery Nov 6 2009
- 12. Happy all the time – Diary of a McDonald’s Happy Meal purchase, in which the subject of the experiment stays unnaturally fresh for a whole year (Apr 5, 2010)
- 12. Merry Recession! – Recession-themed Christmas cards (Dec 15, 2009)
- 11. Living Craigslist – Unemployed college grad travels cross-country using only Craigslist. (Feb 1, 2010)
- 11. Who’s paying taxes?; Distribution of wealth – charts showing which income levels pay what percentage of taxes in the U.S., and the distribution of net worth and wealth (Feb 4, 2010)
- 10. The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness – 24-year-old Brianna Karp’s blog about losing her job and falling into homelessness (Mar 4, 2010)
